Fredi Gonzalez and the Braves are in dire need of a win to keep alive the last vestiges of playoff hopes. Realizing that, Fredi put together his lineup today based on…voodoo? Random draws out of a hat? Consulting the Psychic Friends Network? It isn’t going to happen. The Braves will lose, the Nationals will celebrate on our field, people will call Bryce Harper a dick because we lost, and fans will call for everyone, including Homer, to be fired. Especially Homer, probably. We try to hard for homers anyway, I’m told.
Aaron Harang (11-10, 3.72 ERA / 3.51 FIP) takes the mound against Tanner Roark (13-10, 2.96 ERA / 3.54 FIP). The only ballplayer I know of named Tanner was a little scrappy kid from the Bad News Bears. He hustled, too.
We’re screwed. I hate baseball.